I can’t help but wonder as to why things had to end up this way. It’s just that I was there when you change, so were you when I did. We both improved — and we were there for each other. It was you who told me to do good. It was you who I took oath to — to become a better person. It was you who inspired me to take risks, to take chances, to conquer my fears. It was you who helped me realize that things aren’t easy but it ain’t impossible. It was you who believed in me.
And as I grow, you were always there. Likewise, it was the same on your part. I don’t want to claim that I was the reason for the changes you’ve undergone. But I’m sure as hell that I was there when it happened. I know for a fact that I witnessed the changes with my own eyes. If it’s for better or worse, I can’t say. But one thing is for sure, I was there. I wish I could say that I will always be there — but I would be lying — because we both know for a fact that feelings fade and people change. And as we continue to move on forward, it is but inevitable that we’ll grew apart. Why? Because it’s just the way things must happen.
But worry not, we may grew apart, but always remember that I’m still the good old friend who was with you until you reach this very certain point where you are now. I may not accompany you in the future; I might not be physically there when you need me sometime soon… but I know you’ll manage. I know you will. Because I believe in you.
I’m not saying goodbye. If by any chance we become close again, I hope that things would be eternal by then. Because you, were one of the best things that happened in my life. Thank you very much. I’ll miss you.
:( I hate how things end up like this. I hate why I’m hanging on this thin piece of thread, hoping for the impossible — as if my life depends on it.
I hate it. I hate myself for living in futility. :/
Poor Nico di Angelo. The god’s voice was tinged with disappointment. Do you know what you want, much less what I want? My beloved Psyche risked everything in the name of Love. It was the only way to atone for her lack of faith. And you — what have you risked in my name?
"I’ve been to Tartarus and back," Nico snarled. "You don’t scare me."
I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest. Jason pulled himself up.
All around Nico, the ground shifted. The grass withered, and the stones cracked as if something was moving in the earth beneath, trying to push its way through.
"Give us Diocletian’s scepter," Nico said. "We don’t have time for games."
Games? Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work — a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you — especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards.
Sorry but I just needed to share this. I’m currently reading the 4th book of the Heroes of Olympus series and I just can’t help but share this. Why? Because, (1) it’s worth sharing; (2) Nico di Angelo is my all-time-favorite demigod and never in my wildest dreams would I ever expect that things would turn out this way, (3) because Love is something that goes beyond explanation — it’s mystical, indescribable — it’s something beyond reason, it transcends human reason. If we follow that man can become angels through reason, I think there’s also another level beyond angels — and we become those kinds when we exhibit love. One more thing, this is another of my favorite lines in that chapter…
For the first time, Cupid’s gaze seemed sympathetic. “Oh, I wouldn’t say Love always make you happy.” His voice sounded smaller, much more human. “Sometimes it makes you incredibly sad. But at least you’ve faced it now. That’s the only way to conquer me.”
Uncle Rick, you genius!
Just moments ago I opened my Itunes and played random music. I was browsing through songs and this certain song played and suddenly…
*tug* *tug* *tug*
My heartbeat went crazy. It’s kind of unnatural for something like that to happen. Well, that song is not something special on the first place. Much more, it’s just simply a song. It’s nothing significant that’s why I don’t know why something like that happened. And then it all dawned to me…
maybe it’s because of the lyrics?
Ha. I know, it’s something beyond reason. :( It’s just so devastating things are drifting away. Or maybe not really, it’s not drifting; rather, it’s just recently that I see a brighter and clearer picture of things.
:( I guess that’s just how things go.
Don’t you find it funny, and somehow amusing how abrupt things change? I mean, one moment you’re happy then you’re suddenly furious about even the simplest things. But it’s not the sudden swinging of emotions that amuses me, that thing is possible and happens to everyone… What kind of change am I talking about then?
Changes that usually takes quite some time before we notice it. Earlier, I was having this conversation with one of my friends. Out of the blue, she suddenly said how funny things have changed. It’s as if she’d never imagined seeing herself and one of the closest people she’d ever had in one room together… but sitting in different tables, as if they don’t know each other. Funny isn’t it? How things that used to matter, suddenly become nothing.
Personally, I still don’t understand why things have to end up that way. Why can’t we keep things as they are? Why do we forget the people who used to be the center of our lives?
The promise of forever, bullshit. Nothing like that exists! People will leave you. Nothing will stay the same forever. Eventually, you’ll lose the people you loved the most. And you know what’s even painful? It’s the fact you’ll see them drift away from you — and there’s nothing else you can do because things are meant to be that way.
I don’t want to look so pathetic but I’m in need. It’s just depressing that there’s no one there for you when you needed them most. The same degree of happiness has its equivalent degree of despair. You can never be really too happy in this life. This sadness knows no bound and I don’t know what to do. :( It is taking its toll on me and I’m afraid. :|
One good thing though is that I found this site where I can freely vent out all the sorrow I’m feeling right now. It made me feel better that there are other people out there who understands this kind of pathetic situation. :(
It sucks to be alone.